Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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