yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
