i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
