We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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