What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
