Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I enjoy the company of your penis
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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