I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
