You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He has the fingertips of a God
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
