Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
