Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
