where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I think I am morally bankrupt
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
