goodnight i made you a song goodbye
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
