no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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