I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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