You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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