there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
