Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
