So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
