Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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