He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
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