Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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