In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Randomize
