he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
