Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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