Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
