so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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