If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
