Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
