please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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