tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
jump out the window naked night went bad
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
