i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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