Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
