i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
