Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
