she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
