Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
