What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
