Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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