Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
