Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
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