her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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