You don't have asthma, your pregnant
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
