Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
