i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
