Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
