kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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