I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You are the jesus of drinking
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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