Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
