a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
