u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
