Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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