How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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