let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
