i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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