I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
